You Can Thank Us Later, Coach Fulmer

Straight from YesButNoButYes.com's keyboard to Phil Fulmer's heart, we present to you [drumroll] Bacon-Flavored Vodka:

Makes up one pint.

• Fry up three strips of bacon
• Add cooked bacon to a clean pint sized mason jar. Trim the ends of the bacon if they are too tall to fit in the jar. Or you could go hog wild and just pile in a bunch of fried up bacon scraps.
• Optional: add crushed black peppercorns.
• Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks.(No need to refrigerate)
• At the end of the three week resting period, place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to yield a clear filtered pale yellow bacon vodka.
• Decant into decorative bottles and enjoy.

We're hearing new offensive coordinator Dave Rawson's duties include play calling, holding Phil's hair back, and fetching daddy's apple juice. Doesn't sound like much, but remember that he's got to fit all that in between Krispy Kreme runs.

Tennessee Crimivols Vie For Early Fulmer Cup Lead

Sunday Morning QB notes that Bacon and his gang of Merry Men have been causing some mischief:

Suspended, for the first two games in September, 26-year-old walk-on DB Vincent Faison, the fifth Tennessee player to "embarrass himself and his team" in less than a month since the end of the season with a DUI arrest over the weekend. The Vols are settling a startlingly consistent pace."

Anyway, "Bacon's Favorite JUCO," the Morgan County Correctional Facility, should be deep at the skill positions this year. On the down side, we have some concerns about their defensive front seven, which lacks both depth and experience. Until Demonte Bolden gets picked up for weed possession, that is.

For all of you lady Vol fans out there who would like to "make the boys' stay a bit more comfortable," we suggest contacting Joel over at Rocky Top Talk. He can probably make the proper arrangements.

UPDATE: Interesting sidenote -- if you Googlemap "prisons near knoxville" the second location you see is the University of Tennessee Career Services Office.

Schadenfreude: SEC Championship Edition

My, how we hate Phil "Bacon" Fulmer.


Our feelings are best expressed in haiku form:

21-14
won't get the fat man fired
God is clearly dead

orange douches lose
Krispy Kreme workers beware
lardass on the loose

role reversals are
ironic; LSU says
Ainge, squeal like a pig

the Knoxville night air
smells of stale powdered sugar
bacon and defeat