We just couldn't let this one pass. Sporting the tagline "The Nagging Stops When The Bars Slam Shut," the god-we-hope-it's-not-a-joke site Conjugal Harmony claims to link law-abiding citizens with .... well, we'll just turn it over to them:
Imagine having a wife who is always glad to see you, never cheats or stays out all night, and who rocks your ever-loving world twice a month with a pent-up vengeance you haven't felt since college. Now imagine she never takes your credit cards, doesn't spend all day talking to her mother, and never knows if you're out with friends or sleeping around. Now stop imagining and open your eyes to the world of Conjugal Harmony. For almost a decade we've connected honest, background cleared, non-prisoners with exciting, passionate, loyal mates on the inside, and with rates so low you might think you're the crook!"Tweak" here promises to let her body be "your filthy playground." You can thank us later.