The clear #1 reason to have children? The opportunity to brand them with a ridiculous moniker that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their days. Thanks to a wonderful confluence of immigration, Yuppies, and a generally terrible education system, today’s America is a brilliant moment in child-labeling – sort of a Golden Age for Retarded Names, if you will. Fortunately, many of these blessed children play football in the SEC. Each week in this space, we will introduce you to two of them. For an introduction to the SEC Football Names of the Week, go here.
SEC Names of the Week:
After the Fiesta Bowl's exhibition of Dingle-Berry on national television, we're feeling a bit inadequate. This week's names both come from the only SEC team still playing, your LSU Tigers.
Due to its potpourri of culture and 49th-ranked education system, Louisiana is a target-rich environment for SEC NOTW ... and judging by the picture above, T-Bob is, um, an easy target. God bless the Cajuns.
For some reason this name doesn't seem particularly ridiculous at first glance. Then you realize that Early's mother chose to name her child an adverb.
Perhaps he was a preemie? I'm sure Early's teammate's mother is jealous.