Three years ago I was a rabid SEC fan, but with a fairly limited football world view. Didn't know about Big Ten football; didn't care. I mean total ambivalence -- I couldn't have located the state of Indiana on a map, nor did I care to.
And then I moved to Chicago. Christ, the pasty-white, sweatpants-wearing Big Ten sorority girls practically ooze from the cracks in the sidewalk ... and they all want to tell you about the amazing traditions at Notre Dame, Minnesota's great rivalries, or how lightning fast Ohio State really is. Big Ten bars litter the street corners, and it's damn hard to find decent football (read: SEC) on their tee-vees because the Iowa frat boys need three screens in order to watch their thrilling matchup with mighty Northwestern. Without exception, they're incredibly self-righteous and objectively wrong.
So now I run a Notre Dame/Big Ten hate site (still waiting for the official designation from the SPLC). Last night I pulled for Tommy Tuberville -- without remorse. Today I plan to root for Phil "Bacon" Fulmer. I will not lose sleep over this. I will watch every Big Ten game (exception: Illinois) with malevolence in my heart. And god willing, in 2008, I will no longer have to hear about how great a coach Kirk Ferentz is.
10:00 Bacon v. Big Ten Assholes
12:00 Florida v. Big Ten Assholes
3:30 Zooker! (unlike Swindle, we actually love the Zooker)
7:30 Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof!