Door, Meet Ass

Happy trails, Ryan -- hope to see you starting for Tulane in '09!

Again, we really want to know what happened ... please flood our inbox with speculation.

UPDATE: Now from reputable news sources!

Ryan Perrilloux, Gentleman Scholar: Part II

Our blog does two things quite well: 1) Bash Notre Dame and 2) Report unsubstantiated rumors as fact. This is a non-Notre Dame post.

You may remember our good friend and LSU quarterback Ryan Perriloux. Since joining the team, Ryan has been noted for his extensive community service, focus on academics, and high character federal money laundering and brandishing weaponry in public. This week, rumors are running wild that Perrilloux may have finally worn out his welcome in Baton Rouge:

Due to an ongoing dispute between Perrilloux's mother and LSU -- potentially stemming from Ryan's mother trying to shake down the school -- the projected starting quarterback has cleaned out his locker and left the team. Perrilloux reportedly missed a team meeting this week, but his absence is clouded by reports that Perrilloux was attending his father's funeral.

We hear that Ryan has a list of rules that he must follow in order to keep himself in good standing with Les Miles and the program (these presumably don't include anything about assault or counterfeiting). Supposedly he broke several of them this week, but what we don't know is which ones. Feel free to speculate in the comments.

Ryan Perriloux, Gentleman Scholar

UPDATE: Other, similarly reliable sources claim this had something to do with MMA fighters. In related news, an anonymous source tells us that Baton Rouge is stockpiling weapons of mass destruction.

Here at CWATCF, we hold ourselves to the high journalistic standards espoused by the New York Times and Judy Miller -- we only deal in wild, lightly-sourced rumor and innuendo if it's really interesting. This email indicates Ryan Perriloux may not win those three Heismans after all. Matt Flynn's job is looking a little safer. From Reader Thick Vic:

Here is the scoop........it is more than a bar brawl ... a real good friend of mine who is the manager of the Varsity in Baton Rouge sent me a text of a great story from last night. Marlon Favorite's rap group had a concert there last night and apparently
Derrick Odom got into a bar fight with the bouncers at the Varsity.

When the fight was sent outside, a brawl broke out and Ryan Perriloux was spotted pulling a gun on someone and it is on camera. Alex Loomis, whose dad is the GM of the Saints (Mickey Loomis) is a bouncer at the Varsity. When he went to his car at about 3:30 AM, four guys in mask saw him in a Varsity shirt and went after him.

They tried to get in his car and when they couldn't, they started to kick it and beat it.
Supposedly, Odom broke the window of the car with the handle of the gun. Most of this was caught on film and lots of football players were involved because they all went to see Favorite. Xavier Carter was also somehow involved in the incident and Glenn Dorsey is on film, but was not involved in any altercations. Mickey Loomis is suppose to meet with Les Miles and Skip Bertman on Monday and going after the football team pretty hard.

My friend that manages the place saw most of this take place and said he has never been so scared in his life. Supposedly the players were threatening to burn the place down or shoot everyone at the bar. Some have tried to post the incident on
Tigerdroppings.com and Tigerbait.com, but they get pulled off immediately. Take this for what it is worth, but it is coming directly from a friend of mine that manages the Varsity and was there.