So Fucking Fired (updated daily)

And we've officially entered the college football silly season, where incompetence is rewarded and delusional boosters run wild: "5-7? We are BAYLOR. We win NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS at Baylor! Get me Nick Saban!"

As a public service, we'll provide you with an up-to-date list of future life insurance salesmen:

Karl Dorrell, Ex-UCLA Bruin

Sonny Lubick, Colorado State Rams

Bill Doba, Ex-Washington State Cougar

Houston Nutt, Ex-Arkansas Razorback

Ted Roof, Ex-Duke Blue Devil

Jeff Bower, Ex-Southern Miss Golden Eagle

Chan Gailey, Ex-Georgia Tech Yellowjacket

Ed Orgeron, Ex-Ole Miss Rebel

Dennis Franchione, Ex-Texas A&M Aggie

Bill Callahan, Ex-Nebraska Cornhusker

Phil Novak, Ex-Northern Illinois Huskie

Phil Bennett, Ex-Southern Methodist University Mustang

Guy Morris, Ex-Baylor Bear

Note: Some readers have questioned our use of the term "fired." Trust us, Houston "FOIA Request" Nutt was just as fucking fired (despite what you're hearing about him being offered a raise) as Bill "Allowed 37.9 PPG" Callahan. And that's all we have to say about that.

Where Is Your God Now?

Bill Callahan, (So Fucking Fired) Nebraska Coach, Nov. 5:

The season has gone in the opposite direction of what the coaching staff, fans and media had thought, and it has forced Callahan to seek support from higher places.

"I've got to count on the Lord in that respect; that's where I derive my strength from," Callahan said. "I think that's what any Christian does. You put your trust in the Lord and you go forward."

If Jesus keeps pulling shit like this, that Mormon and his craaaaaaaaaaaaaazy Golden Tablets may win the Republican nomination after all.