TGRWT #15: Smoked Salmon & Dark Chocolate

One of our favorite food blogs, Khymos, runs a monthly event called "They Go Really Well Together." They pick two ingredients that aren't commonly used together -- but scientifically should be compatible -- and challenge bloggers to create a recipe featuring the pair. Here is our first foray into the unknown, featuring this month's pair: smoked salmon and dark chocolate.

Smoked Salmon Cigars with Dark Chocolate Mole

Cigars
(2) 4.5oz packages Smoked Salmon
8oz whipped Cream Cheese
Lemon, with zest
Salt & Pepper
Phyllo dough
Butter, melted
Dark Chocolate Cocoa Powder

Combine cream cheese, lemon and zest. Salt and pepper to taste. Fill half sheets of phyllo dough with a strip of salmon and the cream cheese mixture, rolling dough into a cigar shape. Brush top of cigars with melted butter. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes, or until tops are lightly browned. Dust with cocoa powder.

Mole
Sesame Oil
Onion, diced
(6) cloves Garlic
3.5oz bar Dark Chocolate
28oz can Tomatoes
(6) dried Guajillo chiles
2tbs Pasilla chile powder
(10) Black Peppercorns
Mexican Oregano
Cinnamon
Cloves
Allspice
Fresh Thyme
Fennel Seeds
Tortilla, shredded.

Saute onion in sesame oil. When translucent, add all other ingredients to taste. Simmer for at least 45 minutes. Strain if desired.

Garnishes
Chives
Shaved Dark Chocolate
Lemon Zest
Sesame Seeds
Sesame Oil infused with Chiles

Serve cigar in a pool of mole, and garnish as desired.

RESULTS

Surprisingly, this worked exceptionally well from a flavor standpoint, and looked terrific (despite photographic evidence to the contrary). I wanted to make sure that the two featured ingredients were, well, featured. While the dark chocolate was assertive but not overpowering in the fairly simple mole, I thought I needed to up the chocolate factor a bit. The the shavings provided little bursts of chocolaty flavor, but weren't a distraction. The salmon/cream cheese cigars had a fantastic taste and consistency. Note that the lemon adds a needed hit of acid and lightness, and the sesame/chile oil helped tie everything together.

The only knock on the dish was that the phyllo wrappers weren't quite crisp enough. Were I to make these again, I'd probably use a slightly higher temp on the cigars, crisp them in a skillet, or substitute egg roll wrappers or puff pastry. A crunchy wrapper would make this a real winner.

Eat, Pray, And Get Some Lovin': Christmas Edition

Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.

For an overview of Eat, Pray, and Get Some Lovin', go here.

Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.

Method of the week:

Step 2: Buy and prep ingredients for Beef Tenderloin Roast with Horseradish Mashed Potatoes
In order to get her to unwrap your second gift (ed. note: we mean penis) you'll probably have to buy her something that appears to be nice. Couple that with a homemade meal and this is probably the time to bring up that thing you've always wanted to try with handcuffs, an eggplant, and the family cat.

Beef Tenderloin
-Sure, it's a bit on the front end, but buying a whole tenderloin is generally a huge cost-saver.
-Try Sam's or Costco for this (and steaks in general). Generally, you can get a whole tenderloin for around $50, and you'll get 6-8 steaks out of it (plus a good bit of leftover scrap meat useful for stir fries, Philly cheese steak, etc.). Compare to $18+/lb at grocery stores.
-Assume 1.5" per person. Cut the necessary length (i.e. 6" for 4 people) and let it come to room temperature. Wrap remainder in foil and plastic wrap and freeze.
3 lb. Yukon Gold Potatoes
-These are great for mashed potatoes because of their consistency and
1/2 cup Sour Cream
Milk
1/2 stick Butter
Chives
3 tbs. Horseradish
-Usually comes in a glass jar near the olives. Check the deli area as well.
Cumin
Salt
Pepper

Step 3: Cook

Beef Part 1: Preheat oven to 400. Generously season (and I mean generously) beef roast with salt and pepper, pressing it into the sides. Sprinkle with a bit of cumin. Heat a large skillet on high until it is smoking hot. Add a tablespoon or two of a neutral oil. Use something with a high smoke point, like peanut, canola, or even just "vegetable." Olive oil will burn at this high of a temperature. Sear tenderloin for 2 minutes a side. Usually, there are 3 "sides" to a roast, so figure 6-7 minutes total (no more). Remember, when you cook meat, you don't want to move it around after it's in the pan. This allows it to form a good crust and keeps the meat from tearing. Remove tenderloin to a plate.

Potatoes Part 1: Peel potatoes (don't worry about perfection here) and place in a dutch oven or large pot. Cover with cold water, and heat over medium-high heat. Bring to boil, and cook for about 15-20 minutes. If you can easily pierce potatoes with a fork, they are done.

Beef Part 2: Place roast in a roasting pan (any large pan, like a sheet pan, will work). Place in oven for 30-35 minutes, or until it hits 135 internally (for those of you with meat thermometers). Remove tenderloin from oven. Cover with foil, and allow to stand for at least five minutes. Cut into 1.5" rounds. Top each with a pat of butter.

Potatoes Part 2: Drain potatoes. Return to heat and cook until all liquid in the bottom has evaporated. Add butter, horseradish, chives, and sour cream, and generously season with salt and pepper. Mash with a potato masher (or a slotted spoon, fork, etc.). Add milk as needed to reach desired consistency. Do not overmash (use as few strokes as possible), as this will make your potatoes gummy. Taste, and add more salt and pepper if necessary.

Step 4:

Eat, Pray, And Get Some Lovin': Dec. 14 Edition

Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.

For an overview of Eat, Pray, and Get Some Lovin', go here.

Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.

Method of the week:

Step 2: Buy and prep ingredients for White Vegetarian Chili

If you're cooking fancy French cuisine for dinner, you can almost always find a restaurant to do it better (for a price, of course). Not so with chili, the ultimate home cooking masterpiece. It's eminently flexible, so it can be halved (this recipe will give you leftovers), added to, or made without meat. "I've had a long week, and I just want to rent a movie, make comfort food, and spend time with you (see Step 4)." Anyway, the important thing here is to use a number of different kinds of chilis to get a pleasing, not-too-hot flavor.

6 cans (15.oz.) Cannellini Beans
-These are just white kidney beans, and the color is the only distinguishing factor. If you can't find them, just by "light red" kidney beans, "dark red," or a mix.
-Open cans and drain beans of their juices.
28 oz. can crushed Tomatoes.
-Drain tomatoes of their juices through a strainer.
-Add drained tomatoes to your largest roasting pan.
4 cups Chicken Stock
-Available in the soup aisle, generally in a yellow box.
-Warm stock, either over the stove or by placing in a bowl, then microwaving.
2 Poblano Chilis
-These should be near the jalapenos, and should look like skinnier bell peppers.

-If you like things rather mild, use only one. Poblanos aren't oppressively hot, but this is a personal choice thing.
-Don't touch your eyes after handling. It's called capsaicin, and it'll f'ing hurt.
-Dice 1 chili, cut the other into 1/2" chunks.
-Add chunks to roasting pan.
1 Red or Yellow Bell Pepper
-Dice half, and cut the rest into 3/4" chunks.
-Remember, morons, when cutting a pepper, remove the seeds from the inside.
-Add chunks to roasting pan.
1.5 Yellow Onions
-Dice half onion, chop whole onion into 3/4" chunks.
-Add chunks to roasting pan.
2 ears Corn
-Run your blade down the sides of the ears to separate the kernels.
-Add to roasting pan.
4 Cloves Garlic
-Hopefully, you own a garlic press at this point. Otherwise, mince.
1.5 tbs Pasilla Chili Powder
-Sweet-flavored, mild chili that balances the rest out.
1.5 tbs Ancho Chili Powder
-Smoky-flavored, still rather mild chili that adds a ton of flavor.
2 tsp. Chipotle Chili Powder
-Usually has a kick, so be careful not to overdo it. Taste before adding more.
Pinch Dried/Fresh Thyme
Salt
Pepper
-Be generous with the pepper.
Sour Cream Monterey Jack
-Grated

OPTIONAL:
If you have mushrooms or zucchini laying around the house, put them in the chili pot -- uncooked -- when you take the roasting pan out of the oven.

Step 3: Cook

1. Preheat broiler.

2. ROASTING PAN: Add all chunked vegetables along with drained tomatoes. Sprinkle generously with all three kinds of chili powder (do not subtract from above amount), salt, and pepper. Drizzle several tablespoons of olive oil over the vegetables and stir to combine. Put under broiler. Check and stir every five minutes; do not let vegetables burn. You want vegetables to singe just a bit; this should take about 20 minutes (maybe more; depends on broiler). Remove pan from oven.

3. LARGE POT/DUTCH OVEN: Add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil over medium-low heat. When pan starts to warm, add onion, pepper, and a good pinch of salt; stir. Adjust heat if necessary; you do not want onions to brown. After 7 minutes, add the garlic and stir. 1 minute later, add the beans and warm stock. The mixture should be soupy. Bring to a simmer and cook for 25 minutes. Mixture should begin to thicken; crush some beans against the side of the pot with your spatula to help the process along. Add contents of roasting pan (including liquids released) to pot. Stir.

4. Determining whether your chili is finished is simple -- does it look like chili? In the event your mixture is still soupy, raise the heat to medium to reduce it to chili form. If you need to delay dinner (due to Step 4?) and your chili looks a little dry, add some more liquid in the form of stock or water and turn the temperature to low. This is impossible to screw up.

5. Garnish with sour cream and grated cheese.

Step 4:

Eat, Pray, And Get Some Lovin': Nov. 30 Edition

Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.

For an overview of Eat, Pray, and Get Some Lovin', go here.

Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.

Method of the week:

Step 2: Buy and prep ingredients.

Sometimes, spicing up a delivery meal with dessert is the best way to show off your cooking prowess. Today, we’ll need the following ingredients:

2 Honeycrisp Apples
-You can use any good baking apple in this recipe, but now is not the time to buy "red delicious," which are red but not delicious, or a Granny Smith.
-Honeycrisps are our favorites. Also look for Cortlands, Braeburns, Jonagold, or even Fuji apples in a pinch. -Buy the biggest, most symmetrical apples you can find.
-Wash well.
1 tsp. Cinnamon
-If you have a spice shop in the vicinity, this is one ingredient where it's nice to have a "good" variety around the house for preparations like this and sprinkling on ice cream.
Raisins
-We prefer the golden variety, but this is strictly a matter of personal choice.
-A small handful should be plenty.
1/2 cup Pecans
-Rinse, and break up with your hands. No piece should be larger than your pinkie nail.
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
2 tbs. Butter
Salt
-Everything you make, including desserts, needs seasoning to bring out its flavor. Salt is almost always mandatory, while pepper is a welcome addition to certain desserts.
Pepper
-A generous 2-3 grinds won't be overwhelming.

OPTIONAL:
If you have fresh rosemary laying around the house, use about 1 tsp. or so, chopped, along with a small squeeze of lemon juice.

OPTIONAL #2:
1/3 cup Heavy Cream 1/8 cup Sugar

Step 3: Cook

1. Preheat oven to 375.

2. BOWL: Add pecans, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, pepper, and butter. Microwave until butter melts. Mix to combine.

3. CUTTING BOARD: Slice apples as shown below. Then, take a sharp knife and cut out the cores. You should be left with four apple rings.

3. BAKING SHEET: This is a great time to use parchment paper on a baking sheet. If you don't have it, grease baking sheet with butter or a little Pam. Arrange apple rings so they are evenly spaced. Press pecan mixture into the holes, packing tightly, until apples are full.

4. OVEN: Bake for 25-40 minutes, checking occasionally. If filling reduces, add more butter and brown sugar until apple is full. Apples are done when you can easily pierce them with a fork to their center. Carefully remove to plates using a flat spatula (so none of the filling falls out).

5. MIXING BOWL: If using, add cold cream to bowl. Whip with an electric mixer until it holds soft peaks (when you pull the mixer out of the bowl, the cream pulls up, then droops). Slowly add sugar while whipping. Add generous spoonful to apples, serve.

Step 4:

Eat, Pray, And Get Some Lovin': A Cook's Guide To The Ladies, Nov. 9: Braised Chilean Sea Bass

Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.

For an overview of Eat, Pray, and Get Some Lovin', go here.

Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.

Method of the week:
Step 2: Buy and prep ingredients.

Today, we’ll need the following ingredients:

Olive Oil
2 Chilean Sea Bass filets.
-You can use any firm, white fish here (i.e. not salmon). Ask the fishmonger at your local seafood store, or try Whole Foods for a good (if expensive) selection.
-Filets should be about 1” thick – buy enough to serve two people.
-Generally, they come with the skin on – this is a good thing.
-Pat the fish to check for pin bones; remove any you find.
-Buying Tip: Smell the fish before purchasing – fresh fish should smell clean and slightly salty, not fishy.
2 Yellow Onions
-Fist size, or a bit larger.
-Slice one onion into thin, ¼” strips.
1 Fennel Bulb
-Cut off the fronds and use the white part at the bottom.
-Roughly chop.
1 Leek
-Split down the middle and make sure to rinse thoroughly, as leeks can be dirty.
-Roughly chop.
Sugar Snap Peas
-In pod, about a handful.
4 Carrots
-Peel and slice into discs.
2 Stalks Celery
-Roughly chop one stalk, thinly slice the other.
Chives
-These look like long, very thin green onions.
1 Bay Leaf
-These come dried.
2 sprigs Fresh Thyme
-You can substitute dried thyme. A generous pinch should be sufficient.
½ Lemon.
1/3 cup White Wine Vinegar
-Very inexpensive; almost any brand will be fine.
1 cup White Wine
-Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio are both fine choices here. Spend at least $10, and serve remainder with dinner.
1 cup Water.
10-15 Whole Peppercorns
-If you have a pepper grinder, just remove a few from there.
Salt and Pepper

Step 3: Cook

1. PAN ONE: Add thinly sliced onion and half of carrots to a sauté pan over extremely low heat (about a 2 on your stove). Season generously with salt (a large pinch). Cook for 25 minutes. Do not allow the vegetables to brown. Add sliced celery and snap peas, cover, and cook for an additional 5 minutes. Remove pan from heat and set aside.

2. PAN TWO: Meanwhile, add roughly chopped onion, fennel, leek, carrots, and celery to a dutch oven or extremely large saucepan. Add water, wine, and vinegar. Add peppercorns, thyme, and a good-sized pinch of salt. Simmer (barely boil) over medium heat for 25 minutes. Don’t be afraid to turn the heat down to keep the contents from boiling too strongly. When finished, strain liquid into a bowl (i.e remove vegetables). You should have about 1.5 cups of liquid.

3. PAN THREE: Pat the sea bass filets dry. Season both sides (skin side and fish side) generously with salt and pepper. Add 2 tbs. of olive oil (enough to coat the bottom of the pan) and heat skillet or sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add both filets skin side down. Press down on them with a spatula to make sure the skin cooks. After 2 minutes, check the skin for doneness; if it is not done, continue to cook until it is. Skin is done when it is golden brown and crispy to the touch (remember, you are not cooking the fish to completion here, just crisping the skin). Remove filets to a plate. Note: This can be done as much as an hour before starting Pan One and Pan Two.

4. PAN FOUR: Use a large skillet or sauté pan. Add the liquid from Pan Two, and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Add fish, skin side up. Add vegetables from Pan One. Cook for 5 minutes. Remove fish to serving dishes (plates or a platter) skin side up (you want to keep the crispy skin dry). Squeeze lemon juice into sauce/vegetable mixture. Add 2 tbs. olive oil. Stir, and taste – add salt and pepper to your taste. Pour sauce and vegetables around fish and serve.

Step 4:

Eat, Pray, And Get Some Lovin: A Cook's Guide To The Ladies

Cooking gets a bum rap: it’s time consuming, it’s hard to learn, that fucking Rachel Ray is the most obnoxious being to ever walk the earth. What most guys fail to consider is the following.

Cooking dinner WILL get you laid.

Feeding a girl is the equivalent of a kindergarten student bringing his mother a hand-drawn picture of a cat. It may be a sloppy piece of crap smeared with goo, but the female brain processes it as a Picasso – it’s still getting nailed to the refrigerator door. Or the mattress, as the case may be.

Other benefits: you're already at home, so that eliminates Obstacle #1. Wine has a proven ability to get females really, really drunk. Hammered = easy. It’s also unbelievably cheap. Fancy dinners and event tickets – the staples of dating – can get expensive, and with today’s skyrocketing hooker prices, cooking dinner is likely the cheapest way of getting laid on the planet.

Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.

Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.

The preferred method?

Step 2: Buy ingredients.

Today, we’ll need the following ingredients:

Olive Oil
-Hopefully, you already have this. If not, buy a medium sized bottle of an inexpensive, extra-virgin variety.
28 oz. can of Diced Tomatoes
-Whole plum tomatoes taste even better – look for the “Italian Pomodoro” variety. Note that you will have to seed whole tomatoes before cooking by tearing open each tomato and scooping out the seed; this can be a time-consuming process. If pressed for time, you can use tomato puree instead.
1 head of Garlic
-No, garlic salt/powder is not an acceptable alternative. And if you don’t have a garlic press, now is the time to buy one.
1 stalk Celery 1 Carrot
1 Onion
-Yellow (Spanish/Vidalia) or White preferred. -Preferably around the size of your fist; if you end up with a huge one only use half.
Oregano and/or Thyme
-Dried or fresh is fine. Dried herbs are usually stronger than fresh.
Parsley Crushed Red Pepper Flakes. Salt. Pepper.
-Buy a pepper grinder. Most grocery stores carry plastic McCormick grinders for about three bucks.
Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese.
-You can either buy a fist-sized chunk and grate the cheese yourself (preferred) or buy the pre-grated stuff that many grocery stores sell, which usually comes in a little plastic container. Do NOT buy anything that comes in a green cardboard shaker.
8 oz. Mozzarella Cheese.
-Pre-shredded is fine.
One pound Pasta
-For simple tomato sauce, linguini and penne are both great choices, but anything is fine.
Loaf of French Bread.
1 stick Butter.
Bottle(s) of wine.

Step 3: Cook

1. Preheat oven to 450. 2. Heat large pot of salted water over high heat. When it comes to a boil, add pasta and cook per directions on box. When finished, strain.
-Salt heavily, perhaps ¼ cup.
2. Meanwhile, dice the onion, celery, and carrot.
-Impress your lady by referring to this as the “mirepoix” . Explain to her that this is the base of almost all French cooking.
-When you dice something, it should be in pieces around the size of your pinkie nail.
3. Add oil and heat pan over medium-low heat.
-Use a good-sized pan (or even a dutch oven) to prevent splattering. Remember, you are adding a large can of tomatoes to it soon.
-You want enough olive oil to just cover the bottom of the pan.
-When a piece of onion sizzles in the bottom, you are ready to add the vegetables.
4. Add vegetables and a generous pinch of salt. Cook 5-7 minutes.
-Stir occasionally.
-Do not allow the vegetables to brown. Don’t be afraid to play with the heat to find the right temperature. You want a sort of gentle hiss, not a hard frying sound.
- You are “sweating” the vegetables so they soften and release their juices, NOT sautéing them.
5. Peel 3 cloves garlic. Use garlic press to add to vegetables. Stir. Cook an additional 2 min.
-Smashing the individual cloves is the easiest way to peel them.
6. Add tomatoes and juices. Add any dried herbs you are using. Add 1 tsp. crushed red pepper. Cook 20 minutes, stirring frequently.
-If using dried herbs, add about 2 teaspoons, the equivalent of two generous pinches.
7. Slice loaf of bread in half lengthwise. 8. Chop handful of parsley. 9. Spread butter and mozzarella cheese on both halves of bread.
-Soften butter in microwave. 10-15 seconds is usually sufficient.
10. Sprinkle with four pressed cloves of garlic. Sprinkle with half the parsley.
11. Put bread on baking sheet or tin foil, and place in oven. Bake ten minutes, or until cheese bubbles and is completely melted.
12. If using fresh herbs, add to tomato sauce. Stir.
13. Taste sauce. Season with salt and pepper.
14. Add cooked pasta to sauce, and toss to coat.
15. Plate. Grate Parmigiano-Reggiano over the top, and spread with parsley.

Step 4:

Tailgaters And Instigators: Road Trip: Alabama

UPDATE: The good folks at Poon of the SEC break down this weekend's LSU-Bama tits matchup.














I'm starvin', brah! That means that it's time for the Friday installment of Tailgaters and Instigators!

CWATCF is heading over to Tuscaloosa this weekend to test the cuisine served at the Alabama/LSU game. Oh, and to watch a football game, too.

I have high expectations for my first trip to Tuscaloosa, especially since I've had so much fun in a town described as a toxic waste dump by a certain Alabama newspaper. Whatever, the noxious fumes and potentially carcinogenic water make for an excellent gumbo!


Grumble, Grumble...

What comes to mind when you think of Tuscaloosa? Jorts? check. Tank tops? check. Mullets? check. Barbeque...yesssss!

While nothing screams "Alabama" quite like a tank-top-and-jorts-wearing, mullet-outfitted missing link who probably did not attend the university, good barbeque is probably a close second. While the sous chefs in the CWATCF kitchen are prepping the ingredients for tomorrow's meat-centric throwdown, Head Chef Brady would like to entice your taste buds with a recipe that is sure to have the ladies cum running. (OH OH OH, is that a p0rn reference again?!)

Double-M's Red Beans & Rice
1/2lb pickled pork shoulder
1/2lb ham hocks
1lb bacon, cubed
1lb andouille sausage, cubed
1c bell pepper, diced
1c onion, diced
1c celery, diced
2T garlic, minced
1/3c olive oil
6q chicken stock
3lb red beans (Camellia brand)
1/2c Tony Chachere's
8 boxes Uncle Ben's boil in a bag rice

Soak the beans in water overnight. In a large pot over a burner, pour in the olive oil and heat over medium heat. Once the oil is hot, render the bacon until crispy. Add the vegetables and sautee until they are wilted. Add the Tony's, and then add the chicken stock, meat, and red beans. Bring to a boil and then simmer for at least an hour, or until it thickens. Either cook the rice beforehand or boil it in salted water in a separate pot. Pair with freshly grilled sausage.

Then serve it up and enjoy what comes next!

Brady Quin checking in

...and yes the spelling is intentional. If you don't already know, don't ask. Anyway, I'm not really sure how I got stuck being the alter-ego of a metrosexual (and probably homosexual) pine-riding crybaby "quarterback," but such is life. Incidentally, the fact that Brady Quinn has a first-class seat on the football log with the CLEVELAND BROWNS, of all teams, should attest to his mad football skillz.

Politically speaking, I was a fascistly-inclined conservative when I lived in New Orleans, according to the Chocolate City Rules of Politics (C. Ray Nagin, Lifetime Chair). However, moving to Jackson, Mississippi has made me realize that I am actually quite the moderate. Because my house only sports two Confederate flags (and my car none), along with zero swastikas, I am practically "one of them damn illitrit forriners" trying to let in illegal immigrants while supporting flag burning, gay marriage, and gun control. And mandatory abortions.

Foodwise, I'm fat and I like to eat. A lot. This may come as a surprise, as fat people are not generally known for liking food, but rules were made to be broken. In fact, I'm eating right now.

I also appreciate the fairer sex and have been known to dabble in a bit of papparazzi over the years. Highlights to cum. (YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!11 Porn talk! Everybody loves it!)