Thoughts On Signing Day

We have a very difficult time getting excited about National Signing Day.

It's not that we think that recruiting, or even the associated rankings are totally worthless. We even enjoy, on occasion, the tasteless gloating that accompanies the release of said rankings.

Look, we know recruiting is the cornerstone of a program. Player aptitude is obviously the most important factor in a team's success, and it behooves a coach to devote as many resources to the selection and wooing process as possible. However, the kids are kids -- they're neither physically nor emotionally mature at 18, and there's no telling what the weight room or the classroom will do to them. We're just not that interesting in watching grainy videos and poring over 40-yard dash times for skinny kids that may or may not ever see the field.

Remember that these rankings are all based on subjective impressions (and, of course, near-meaningless stats like height/weight/40). The greater national focus on recruiting (by media and fans) means that rankings should be more and more accurate each year, but they're still, at best, rough approximations. If your team's within 15 spots of where you think they should be, they're probably okay.

Anyway, we generally spend ten minutes or less on the whole deal. Here's what we look at:

1. Does a teams recruiting ranking roughly correlate (within 10 or 15 spots) with its level of success over the previous two or three years?
This isn't complicated -- if you can't leverage success on the field into new, quality players, you're not going to continue to be successful. Rivals has a respectable showing from this year's Cinderellas -- Missouri and Kansas -- but Louisville is at #55, West Virginia at #44, and ... Tennessee at #35?! Oh, this should be delicious.

On the flip side, if you a coach can pull a good class while losing (in SEC parlance, that's called "Zooking"), it gives your program a glimmer of hope. Miami, 'Bama, and Colorado seem to have drawn good crops.

2. Do teams that are national powers and are in good locations rank in the top 15?
If you're a major state university from (or bordering) California, Florida, Texas, or Louisiana, you can fall off a log and be in the top 15. There are two reasons for this: 1) The volume of quality athletes in those states is greater and 2) When a national power recruits a kid, his star rating usually rises (this isn't totally nonsensical, given the limited information available to recruiting services, but still explains a lot). With those built-in advantages, it makes sense that Rivals has FSU at #8 and Miami at #4. Texas at #14 has to raise a few eyebrows, though.

3. Where did the big few go?
Where will Terrell Pryor sign? Julio Jones to 'Bama? Eww. Even the high-end guys aren't sure things -- remember FSU's score of the top two QBs in the nation a few years back? You may have forgotten their names -- Joe Mauer catches baseballs for the Twins now, and Adrian McPherson was playing in Canada last we heard. That said, top-flight recruits are a safer bet than the rest, and we find reading about them to be a nice way to balance our love of college football with our sanity. We are very excited about Georgia's acquisition of tall, speedy WR A.J. Green, for example.

Anyway, none of these viewpoints are new or groundbreaking, but we felt the need to explain why our coverage of recruiting has been minimal.

Now excuse us while we dig through some minor league baseball stats.

Other Topics, Timely Presented

Q: When is it NOT time for college football?

A: Presidential elections, the Super Bowl, earthquakes.

So, yeah, watch politics tonight and laugh at the Greatest Team Choke Job Ever. Here's a handy guide as to what to expect during Super Tuesday, and a couple reminders of the hilarious failings on Super Sunday.

Via Kissing Suzy Kolber

And what the hell -- for you single-minded non-voters, here's a rundown of the NCAAF recruiting classes for 2004.

Rich-Rod Takes Michigan Job, WVU's Chances Of Ever Winning A National Championship

Rich Rodriguez to Michigan. Some people aren't happy about it, but we have fond recollections of Rodriguez as the OC on a 12-0 Tulane team ... and then Tulane leaving him standing on the podium wearing a green jacket ... as the AD announced they would be starting a coaching search ... and then hired Chris Scelfo ... god that's a painful memory.


Good luck, Rich!

[basically we just want you to beat Ohio State so we don't have to listen to this Tressel-is-God BS anymore]

Does This Remind You Of Anything?

So Appalachian State and Delaware are playing for the I-AA National Championship tonight on ESPN. It might interest you to hear that these are Delaware's uniforms:


Hee.

Breaking News

Paul Johnson to Georgia Tech.

Oh, and Heidi Klum is still hot.

So Fucking Fired (updated daily)

And we've officially entered the college football silly season, where incompetence is rewarded and delusional boosters run wild: "5-7? We are BAYLOR. We win NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS at Baylor! Get me Nick Saban!"

As a public service, we'll provide you with an up-to-date list of future life insurance salesmen:

Karl Dorrell, Ex-UCLA Bruin

Sonny Lubick, Colorado State Rams

Bill Doba, Ex-Washington State Cougar

Houston Nutt, Ex-Arkansas Razorback

Ted Roof, Ex-Duke Blue Devil

Jeff Bower, Ex-Southern Miss Golden Eagle

Chan Gailey, Ex-Georgia Tech Yellowjacket

Ed Orgeron, Ex-Ole Miss Rebel

Dennis Franchione, Ex-Texas A&M Aggie

Bill Callahan, Ex-Nebraska Cornhusker

Phil Novak, Ex-Northern Illinois Huskie

Phil Bennett, Ex-Southern Methodist University Mustang

Guy Morris, Ex-Baylor Bear

Note: Some readers have questioned our use of the term "fired." Trust us, Houston "FOIA Request" Nutt was just as fucking fired (despite what you're hearing about him being offered a raise) as Bill "Allowed 37.9 PPG" Callahan. And that's all we have to say about that.

Bye-Bye, Milesy

Lloyd Carr Resigning

Since this news came from a blog, it must be true:

Three separate sources indicate that Carr has made his decision to retire official and people around the athletic department are being told. The formal announcement will come after the Ohio State game, possibly at the Monday press conference, possibly a day or two later.

Who will Michigan pursue? Will it be Les Miles? Urban Meyer? Or how about:

YEEEHAAAA! DENNIS FRANCHIONE! DENNIS F'ING FRANCHIONE would NEVER lose to Appalachian State! DENNIS F'ING FRANCHIONE practically bleeds blue! He named his dog Blue! His wife's nickname is Blue! DENNIS F'ING FRANCHIONE oozes Loyalty! His middle name is Loyalty! His favorite color is Loyalty Blue!

Oh, and he won at TCU, which means he will definitely win at Michigan. And never lose to Appalachian State.

CWATCF emphatically endorses Dennis Franchione for the Michigan Football head coaching job. Assuming, of course, that Charlie Weis is unavailable.

UPDATE: Before assessing the credibility of this claim, you might want to remember our last foray into hard news.

UPDATE II: We were so right, and like 6 days early. Suck it ESPN. Consider yourself scooped.

42-30: Wherein We Rub Your Nose In It

It's hard to gloat over a single victory when you've been thoroughly dominated for the better part of two decades ... but since Mark Richt said it was okay:



Regardless, it's good to see that Florida fans are handling this with class and decorum.

Brady Quin checking in

...and yes the spelling is intentional. If you don't already know, don't ask. Anyway, I'm not really sure how I got stuck being the alter-ego of a metrosexual (and probably homosexual) pine-riding crybaby "quarterback," but such is life. Incidentally, the fact that Brady Quinn has a first-class seat on the football log with the CLEVELAND BROWNS, of all teams, should attest to his mad football skillz.

Politically speaking, I was a fascistly-inclined conservative when I lived in New Orleans, according to the Chocolate City Rules of Politics (C. Ray Nagin, Lifetime Chair). However, moving to Jackson, Mississippi has made me realize that I am actually quite the moderate. Because my house only sports two Confederate flags (and my car none), along with zero swastikas, I am practically "one of them damn illitrit forriners" trying to let in illegal immigrants while supporting flag burning, gay marriage, and gun control. And mandatory abortions.

Foodwise, I'm fat and I like to eat. A lot. This may come as a surprise, as fat people are not generally known for liking food, but rules were made to be broken. In fact, I'm eating right now.

I also appreciate the fairer sex and have been known to dabble in a bit of papparazzi over the years. Highlights to cum. (YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!11 Porn talk! Everybody loves it!)