Women Are Stupid, But Great At Baking

If the Washington Post said it, it must be true. This marvelously offensive article confirms everything men have been trying to convince women of for centuries. Our favorite portion of the article is probably the line where the author professes a sincere belief in phrenology, but this paragraph is a close second:

I am perfectly willing to admit that I myself am a classic case of female mental deficiencies. I can't add 2 and 2 (well, I can, but then what?). I don't even know how many pairs of shoes I own. I have coasted through life and academia on the basis of an excellent memory and superior verbal skills, two areas where, researchers agree, women consistently outpace men. (An evolutionary just-so story explains this facility of ours: Back in hunter-gatherer days, men were the hunters and needed to calculate spear trajectories, while women were the gatherers and needed to remember where the berries were.) I don't mind recognizing and accepting that the women in history I admire most -- Sappho, Hildegard of Bingen, Elizabeth I, George Eliot, Margaret Thatcher -- were brilliant outliers.

So there you have it, ladies. Women should take off the pants, stay at home, and perfect what I like to refer to as the Holy Trinity of Female Life Skills -- blow job technique, foot rub methodology, and the proper preparation of a gin & tonic.