Each week, we’ll publish an idiot-proof recipe that’ll score you some ‘tang. In return, you’ll send us pictures of the classy ladies (which we’ll post) and let us know how you did. Note that this section is not for more accomplished chefs, but for morons who just want to convince ladies that they are accomplished chefs. Expect us to talk down to you.
For an overview of Eat, Pray, and Get Some Lovin', go here.
Step 1: Trick a young lady into coming to your abode.
Method of the week:
Step 2: Buy and prep ingredients.
Sometimes, spicing up a delivery meal with dessert is the best way to show off your cooking prowess. Today, we’ll need the following ingredients:
2 Honeycrisp Apples
-You can use any good baking apple in this recipe, but now is not the time to buy "red delicious," which are red but not delicious, or a Granny Smith.
-Honeycrisps are our favorites. Also look for Cortlands, Braeburns, Jonagold, or even Fuji apples in a pinch. -Buy the biggest, most symmetrical apples you can find.
-Wash well.
1 tsp. Cinnamon
-If you have a spice shop in the vicinity, this is one ingredient where it's nice to have a "good" variety around the house for preparations like this and sprinkling on ice cream.
Raisins
-We prefer the golden variety, but this is strictly a matter of personal choice.
-A small handful should be plenty.
1/2 cup Pecans
-Rinse, and break up with your hands. No piece should be larger than your pinkie nail.
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
2 tbs. Butter
Salt
-Everything you make, including desserts, needs seasoning to bring out its flavor. Salt is almost always mandatory, while pepper is a welcome addition to certain desserts.
Pepper
-A generous 2-3 grinds won't be overwhelming.
OPTIONAL:
If you have fresh rosemary laying around the house, use about 1 tsp. or so, chopped, along with a small squeeze of lemon juice.
OPTIONAL #2:
1/3 cup Heavy Cream 1/8 cup Sugar
Step 3: Cook
1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. BOWL: Add pecans, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, pepper, and butter. Microwave until butter melts. Mix to combine.
3. CUTTING BOARD: Slice apples as shown below. Then, take a sharp knife and cut out the cores. You should be left with four apple rings.
3. BAKING SHEET: This is a great time to use parchment paper on a baking sheet. If you don't have it, grease baking sheet with butter or a little Pam. Arrange apple rings so they are evenly spaced. Press pecan mixture into the holes, packing tightly, until apples are full.
4. OVEN: Bake for 25-40 minutes, checking occasionally. If filling reduces, add more butter and brown sugar until apple is full. Apples are done when you can easily pierce them with a fork to their center. Carefully remove to plates using a flat spatula (so none of the filling falls out).
5.
MIXING BOWL: If using, add cold cream to bowl. Whip with an electric mixer until it holds soft peaks (when you pull the mixer out of the bowl, the cream pulls up, then droops). Slowly add sugar while whipping. Add generous spoonful to apples, serve.
Step 4:
Would someone please take Old 
Would someone please take Old 
