2.04.2008

Rudy Giuliani: CWATCF Primary Dropouts Guide

In a year littered with 2-loss teams aspiring to college football's throne, it's only appropriate that the Presidential primary field is filled with flawed pretenders.

In an attempt to make this approachable for you blog-reading Neanderthals, we give you The CWATCF Primary Voter's Guide, comparing each wannabe-Reagan to one of this season's college football teams.

Go here for links to all of the candidates.

Rudy Giuliani, Notre Dame Fightin' Irish

Some people don’t get to be president or coach Notre Dame because they’re poor, female, or black. Rudy Giuliani doesn’t get to be president because:

1. He ran a campaign that made Fred Thompson’s clown circus look positively competent – $50 million dollars spent, 1 delegate received. At that rate, he would have needed $60 billion to win.

2. He’s an asshole.

Seriously, read this Vanity Fair article, which focuses on Rudy's wife. It would be in the running for most vicious political hit piece of all time ... if it weren’t all true. Eleanor & Franklin the Giulianis are not.

The results were ugly, lopsided, and deserved. As former NYC mayor Ed Koch said, “The beast is dead.” Judging by Fat Charlie's reputation among Notre Dame alums, we'll see the same reaction after the Irish can his ass.

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