Ryan Perrilloux, Gentleman Scholar: Part II

Our blog does two things quite well: 1) Bash Notre Dame and 2) Report unsubstantiated rumors as fact. This is a non-Notre Dame post.

You may remember our good friend and LSU quarterback Ryan Perriloux. Since joining the team, Ryan has been noted for his extensive community service, focus on academics, and high character federal money laundering and brandishing weaponry in public. This week, rumors are running wild that Perrilloux may have finally worn out his welcome in Baton Rouge:

Due to an ongoing dispute between Perrilloux's mother and LSU -- potentially stemming from Ryan's mother trying to shake down the school -- the projected starting quarterback has cleaned out his locker and left the team. Perrilloux reportedly missed a team meeting this week, but his absence is clouded by reports that Perrilloux was attending his father's funeral.
We hear that Ryan has a list of rules that he must follow in order to keep himself in good standing with Les Miles and the program (these presumably don't include anything about assault or counterfeiting). Supposedly he broke several of them this week, but what we don't know is which ones. Feel free to speculate in the comments.


Irons said...

My guess? Kitten rape.

Jim said...

As a faithful LSU fan and a lifelong Louisianian, I can only say to Ryan and his Mama - don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Irons said...

The only way this could be better is if he played for Tennessee.

Brady said...

Glad to see the Michael Vick / wasted talent debacle taught everyone a lesson.

George said...

He be the starting quarterback and LSU ain't goin to make it without him. I bet there is 1 person in Baton Rouge that thinks like this and guess what his name is? Ryan P.