SEC Name Of The Week: Feb. 12 Edition

The clear #1 reason to have children? The opportunity to brand them with a ridiculous moniker that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their days. Thanks to a wonderful confluence of immigration, Yuppies, and a generally terrible education system, today’s America is a brilliant moment in child-labeling – sort of a Golden Age for Retarded Names, if you will.

Fortunately, many of these blessed children play football in the SEC. Each week in this space, we will introduce you to two of them. For an introduction to the SEC Football Names of the Week, go here.

SEC Name of the Week:

Zipp Duncan, OG, Kentucky Wildcats

There has to be a certain level of disappointment associated with naming your kid "Zipp," then finding out that Bill Curry wants him to gain 80 pounds and play guard in the SEC. Sort of like going with Louganis, then finding out that the little bastard is scared of the water and bangs chicks. And I just wanted him to butterfly!

1 comment:

phildo said...

haha....louganis....water....women....hahaha. That's good shit.
I was also wondering if the Pat's mascot below this post was taking a shit or hovering over a delicious, soft pretzel. Man, I love those pretzels at football games (they are somehow not as good at baseball games, though. huh....)
Also, I think QMX promised us some recipes. Where are they, fucker? I'm unemployed, bored and hungry. How about a patriots shit pretzel app? Maybe with chile cheese on top?