The clear #1 reason to have children? The opportunity to brand them with a ridiculous moniker that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their days. Thanks to a wonderful confluence of immigration, Yuppies, and a generally terrible education system, today’s America is a brilliant moment in child-labeling – sort of a Golden Age for Retarded Names, if you will.
Fortunately, many of these blessed children play football in the SEC. Each week in this space, we will introduce you to two of them. For an introduction to the SEC Football Names of the Week, go here.
Prechae Rodriguez, WR, Auburn Tigers
What. The. Hell.
Most strange names that we run across in our efforts at NOTW are variations of mainstream names. Examples from the Auburn football roster:
Zach = Zac
Aaron = Aairon
Trey = Tray
Cody = Kodi
Prechae, on the other hand, bears no relation to any known combination of letters found in the English language. How could something like this find its way onto a birth certificate?
1) Parents are learned classical scholars, and "Prechae" has some sort of Latin root.
2) His parents actually followed the monkeys-at-a-typewriter approach to naming children.
3) Most likely? Yes, his parents are retards, but at least they're creative retards.