How To Win Friends And Influence People: Part 1

UPDATE: So, it's been brought to our attention that Kuechenberg is sort of a dick. On the other hand, he did use the rhetorical question "Does a frog have a waterproof butthole?" on the radio, so we figure it's a wash.

Seems that some of the former Fightin' Irish players aren't so pleased with The Fat Man. Former Notre Dame and Miami Dolphin football star Bob Kuechenberg joined the Dennis and Callahan Radio show for this gem of a chat:

BK: They have all, to a man, said that [Weis] is unnecessarily rude and crude to the Notre Dame community ... when he left the Patriots and got a sweetheart deal, a sweetheart offer from Notre Dame ... at that point, it's not a one year or a two year contract, it's a five year, beautiful contract. Charlie Weis and his family are secure financially forever, and it's his dream job -- going back to Notre Dame -- unbelievable! Then Tom Benson, the owner of the New Orleans Saints gets a hold of him a few weeks before the opening game of his tenure and says, "Charlie, you've only been in the NFL. Let me see that contract -- aw, that's a pittance. Tear it up and you come with me."

I know that I would, you two would, and any man of character at that point would -- I believe -- have said "Mr. Benson, that is a great honor, I really appreciate your respect for my ability, but I've just signed a contract with Notre Dame, the job of my lifetime. This is what I'm meant to be, and thank you but no thank you." Instead, what he does is go to Notre Dame's athletic department and says "Here's what New Orleans offered and what can you do about it. I can't turn this down."

So instead, he holds them ransom and they extend it to ten years from five years. Right there, what does that tell you about the man? I mean, how much money do you need? What are your priorities?

Host: But Bob, most college coaches are mercenaries ... they all hold the school over a barrel when they get these [inaudible], no?

BK: No, no, not at all. Now I don't mind when he goes and gets a year or two into his five year deal and says "Okay, now, you know, it's a fit, and let's extend this, everybody's happy." That's customary. Not to do what he did. That's a low blow and it's absolutely unnecessary. I mean, how much friggin' money do you need? What's your priority in life?

Host: Bob, two questions here. Are the priests, the fathers, the clergy offended by his language, his sideline deportment, and now that they gave him the extension on the extension, what are they saying behind closed doors and in back channels about what they're getting for their money?

BK: Um, I cannot answer, you know, what the priests, and the other authorities at Notre Dame are speaking. I'm only speaking to my alumni friends. I've not spoken to any officials of Notre Dame, the university. Just my own opinion of what I've seen. Again, I've not met Charlie, but I don't need to meet Charlie. When a man makes that choice that we just discussed ... I don't want to meet Charlie, frankly.

Host: Well, what happened specifically to you? You went there with some friends or wanted to bring some friends through the locker room -- is that correct?

BK: No, no, nothing like that. I’ve never spoken to Charlie, or you know, I’ve never had personal interaction with Charlie at all.

Host: So what did he do, other than lose, that so offended you?

BK: You know, his demeanor. I believe the student athlete at Notre Dame is expected to be extra special. Also, it’s all about leadership and I don’t think he’s providing the right kind of leadership.

Charlie, Tommy Tuberville can clue you in as to what this means:

Again, it's petition time, baby.