More Breaking News

Sorry to interrupt your Friday afternoon, but we just can't hold this exciting news in any longer! Sources tell CWATCF that Larry Fedora has accepted the Southern Miss head coaching job. This news is so hot that no one else will even touch it. IT BURNS! Oh yeah, Larry Fedora is in some sort of assistant role at Oklahoma State. The school that gave us this guy:

UPDATE: EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS!

American Gladiators is BACK! And it will be hosted by Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali's son.

UPDATE (Irons):

1. Picture of Les "The Hat" Miles. New coach named "Fedora." Zero headwear jokes.

That's how much respect we have for you, dear readers.

2. Those of you outside the southeast might be a bit unfamiliar with Southern Miss. There are many good reasons for this, but we'll try to fill you in on what Coach Fedora has gotten himself into:

USM is located in Hattiesburg, a lovely cow town in the southern part of the state -- think Auburn, but with less charm. Over the years, the school has established itself as a solidly third-tier Mississippi academic option (which is an achievement on par with Minnesota's 0-8 record in Big Ten play). With the moderate success of their football program over the years, USM fans have become known for cheering their team on with class and dignity being ungodly low-rent assholes. You may know many of their alumni by name -- it's surprisingly easy, as the vast majority have it stitched on their work shirts. Of course, there are some famous ones as well, which are pretty representative of the school as a whole:

Drunks

Addicts

Whores

Good luck, Coach Beret Fedora!

UPDATE #3 (Irons):

Speaking of cow towns, Bacon gets an extension.